Война и мир

Chapter 16

           Hefelthimselfnearertoit.

           “Love?Whatislove?”hethought.

           “Lovehindersdeath.Loveislife.All,everythingthatIunderstand,IunderstandonlybecauseIlove.Everythingis,everythingexists,onlybecauseIlove.Everythingisunitedbyitalone.LoveisGod,andtodiemeansthatI,aparticleoflove,shallreturntothegeneralandeternalsource.”Thesethoughtsseemedtohimcomforting.Buttheywereonlythoughts.Somethingwaslackinginthem,theywerenotclear,theyweretooone-sidedlypersonalandbrain-spun.Andtherewastheformeragitationandobscurity.Hefellasleep.

           Hedreamedthathewaslyingintheroomhereallywasin,butthathewasquitewellandunwounded.Manyvarious,indifferent,andinsignificantpeopleappearedbeforehim.Hetalkedtothemanddiscussedsomethingtrivial.Theywerepreparingtogoawaysomewhere.PrinceAndrewdimlyrealizedthatallthiswastrivialandthathehadmoreimportantcares,buthecontinuedtospeak,surprisingthembyemptywitticisms.Gradually,unnoticed,allthesepersonsbegantodisappearandasinglequestion,thatofthecloseddoor,supersededallelse.Heroseandwenttothedoortoboltandlockit.Everythingdependedonwhetherhewas,orwasnot,intimetolockit.Hewent,andtriedtohurry,buthislegsrefusedtomoveandheknewhewouldnotbeintimetolockthedoorthoughhepainfullystrainedallhispowers.Hewasseizedbyanagonizingfear.Andthatfearwasthefearofdeath.Itstoodbehindthedoor.

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