Война и мир

Chapter 8

           Butnowtheywantedhertosacrificetheverythingthatconstitutedthewholerewardforherself-sacrificeandthewholemeaningofherlife.Andforthefirsttimeshefeltbitternessagainstthosewhohadbeenherbenefactorsonlytotortureherthemorepainfully;shefeltjealousofNatáshawhohadneverexperiencedanythingofthissort,hadneverneededtosacrificeherself,butmadeotherssacrificethemselvesforherandyetwasbelovedbyeverybody.AndforthefirsttimeSónyafeltthatoutofherpure,quietloveforNicholasapassionatefeelingwasbeginningtogrowupwhichwasstrongerthanprinciple,virtue,orreligion.UndertheinfluenceofthisfeelingSónya,whoselifeofdependencehadtaughtherinvoluntarilytobesecretive,havingansweredthecountessinvaguegeneralterms,avoidedtalkingwithherandresolvedtowaittillsheshouldseeNicholas,notinordertosethimfreebutonthecontraryatthatmeetingtobindhimtoherforever.

           ThebustleandterroroftheRostóvs’lastdaysinMoscowstifledthegloomythoughtsthatoppressedSónya.Shewasgladtofindescapefromtheminpracticalactivity.ButwhensheheardofPrinceAndrew’spresenceintheirhouse,despitehersincerepityforhimandforNatásha,shewasseizedbyajoyfulandsuperstitiousfeelingthatGoddidnotintendhertobeseparatedfromNicholas.SheknewthatNatáshalovednoonebutPrinceAndrewandhadneverceasedtolovehim.

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