Анна Каренина

Chapter 21

           Hefeltallthetortureofhisownandherposition,allthedifficultytherewasforthem,conspicuousastheywereintheeyeofalltheworld,inconcealingtheirlove,inlyinganddeceiving;andinlying,deceiving,feigning,andcontinuallythinkingofothers,whenthepassionthatunitedthemwassointensethattheywerebothobliviousofeverythingelsebuttheirlove.

           Hevividlyrecalledalltheconstantlyrecurringinstancesofinevitablenecessityforlyinganddeceit,whichweresoagainsthisnaturalbent.Herecalledparticularlyvividlytheshamehehadmorethanoncedetectedinheratthisnecessityforlyinganddeceit.AndheexperiencedthestrangefeelingthathadsometimescomeuponhimsincehissecretloveforAnna.ThiswasafeelingofloathingforsomethingwhetherforAlexeyAlexandrovitch,orforhimself,orforthewholeworld,hecouldnothavesaid.Buthealwaysdroveawaythisstrangefeeling.Now,too,heshookitoffandcontinuedthethreadofhisthoughts.

           “Yes,shewasunhappybefore,butproudandatpeace;andnowshecannotbeatpeaceandfeelsecureinherdignity,thoughshedoesnotshowit.Yes,wemustputanendtoit,”hedecided.

           Andforthefirsttimetheideaclearlypresenteditselfthatitwasessentialtoputanendtothisfalseposition,andthesoonerthebetter.“Throwupeverything,sheandI,andhideourselvessomewherealonewithourlove,”hesaidtohimself.

           

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