Chapter 31

           

           Vronskyhadnoteventriedtosleepallthatnight.Hesatinhisarmchair,lookingstraightbeforehimorscanningthepeoplewhogotinandout.Ifhehadindeedonpreviousoccasionsstruckandimpressedpeoplewhodidnotknowhimbyhisairofunhesitatingcomposure,heseemednowmorehaughtyandself-possessedthanever.Helookedatpeopleasiftheywerethings.Anervousyoungman,aclerkinalawcourt,sittingoppositehim,hatedhimforthatlook.Theyoungmanaskedhimforalight,andenteredintoconversationwithhim,andevenpushedagainsthim,tomakehimfeelthathewasnotathing,butaperson.ButVronskygazedathimexactlyashedidatthelamp,andtheyoungmanmadeawryface,feelingthathewaslosinghisself-possessionundertheoppressionofthisrefusaltorecognizehimasaperson.

           Vronskysawnothingandnoone.Hefelthimselfaking,notbecausehebelievedthathehadmadeanimpressiononAnnahedidnotyetbelievethat,butbecausetheimpressionshehadmadeonhimgavehimhappinessandpride.

           Whatwouldcomeofitallhedidnotknow,hedidnoteventhink.Hefeltthatallhisforces,hithertodissipated,wasted,werecenteredononething,andbentwithfearfulenergyononeblissfulgoal.Andhewashappyatit.Heknewonlythathehadtoldherthetruth,thathehadcomewhereshewas,thatallthehappinessofhislife,theonlymeaninginlifeforhim,nowlayinseeingandhearingher.AndwhenhegotoutofthecarriageatBologovatogetsomeseltzerwater,andcaughtsightofAnna,involuntarilyhisfirstwordhadtoldherjustwhathethought.

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