Анна Каренина

Chapter 14

           Onewasawayfromher,withthedoctor,whokeptsmokingonefatcigaretteafteranotherandextinguishingthemontheedgeofafullashtray,withDolly,andwiththeoldprince,wheretherewastalkaboutdinner,aboutpolitics,aboutMaryaPetrovna’sillness,andwhereLevinsuddenlyforgotforaminutewhatwashappening,andfeltasthoughhehadwakedupfromsleep;theotherwasinherpresence,atherpillow,wherehisheartseemedbreakingandstilldidnotbreakfromsympatheticsuffering,andheprayedtoGodwithoutceasing.Andeverytimehewasbroughtbackfromamomentofoblivionbyascreamreachinghimfromthebedroom,hefellintothesamestrangeterrorthathadcomeuponhimthefirstminute.Everytimeheheardashriek,hejumpedup,rantojustifyhimself,rememberedonthewaythathewasnottoblame,andhelongedtodefendher,tohelpher.Butashelookedather,hesawagainthathelpwasimpossible,andhewasfilledwithterrorandprayed:“Lord,havemercyonus,andhelpus!”Andastimewenton,boththeseconditionsbecamemoreintense;thecalmerhebecameawayfromher,completelyforgettingher,themoreagonizingbecamebothhersufferingsandhisfeelingofhelplessnessbeforethem.Hejumpedup,wouldhavelikedtorunaway,butrantoher.

           Sometimes,whenagainandagainshecalleduponhim,heblamedher;butseeingherpatient,smilingface,andhearingthewords,“Iamworryingyou,”hethrewtheblameonGod;butthinkingofGod,atoncehefelltobeseechingGodtoforgivehimandhavemercy.

           

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