Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 107

           "Thiswentonforhours,andIswungbetweenthesemightypolesofoppositefeelings-experiencingtheangerthoroughlyforonebone-rattlingmoment,andthenexperiencingatotalcoolness,astheangerenteredmyheartasifthroughadoor,laiditselfdown,curledupagainstitsbrothersandgaveupfighting.

           Thencamethemostdifficultpart."Showmeyourshame,"Iaskedmymind.DearGod,thehorrorsthatIsawthen.Apitifulparadeofallmyfailings,mylies,myselfishness,jealousy,arrogance.Ididn’tblinkfromanyofit,though."Showmeyourworst,"Isaid.WhenItriedtoinvitetheseunitsofshameintomyheart,theyeachhesitatedatthedoor,saying,"No-youdon’twantmeinthere…don’tyouknowwhatIdid?"andIwouldsay,"Idowantyou.Evenyou.Ido.Evenyouarewelcomehere.It’sOK.Youareforgiven.Youarepartofme.Youcanrestnow.It’sover."

           Whenallthiswasfinished,Iwasempty.Nothingwasfightinginmymindanymore.Ilookedintomyheart,atmyowngoodness,andIsawitscapacity.Isawthatmyheartwasnotevennearlyfull,notevenafterhavingtakeninandtendedtoallthosecalamitousurchinsofsorrowandangerandshame;myheartcouldeasilyhavereceivedandforgivenevenmore.Itslovewasinfinite.

           IknewthenthatthisishowGodlovesusallandreceivesusall,andthatthereisnosuchthinginthisuniverseashell,exceptmaybeinourownterrifiedminds.

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