Chapter 108

           

           AndnowI’mcomingbacktoGiliMenoundernotablydifferentcircumstances.SinceIwaslasthere,I’vecircledtheworld,settledmydivorce,survivedmyfinalseparationfromDavid,erasedallmood-alteringmedicationsfrommysystem,learnedtospeakanewlanguage,satuponGod’spalmforafewunforgettablemomentsinIndia,studiedatthefeetofanIndonesianmedicinemanandpurchasedahomeforafamilywhosorelyneededaplacetolive.Iamhappyandhealthyandbalanced.And,yes,IcannothelpbutnoticethatIamsailingtothisprettylittletropicalislandwithmyBrazilianlover.Whichis-Iadmitit!-analmostludicrouslyfairy-taleendingtothisstory,likethepageoutofsomehousewife’sdream.(Perhapsevenapageoutofmyowndream,fromyearsago.)Yetwhatkeepsmefromdissolvingrightnowintoacompletefairy-taleshimmeristhissolidtruth,atruthwhichhasveritablybuiltmybonesoverthelastfewyears-Iwasnotrescuedbyaprince;Iwastheadministratorofmyownrescue.

           MythoughtsturntosomethingIreadonce,somethingtheZenBuddhistsbelieve.Theysaythatanoaktreeisbroughtintocreationbytwoforcesatthesametime.Obviously,thereistheacornfromwhichitallbegins,theseedwhichholdsallthepromiseandpotential,whichgrowsintothetree.Everybodycanseethat.Butonlyafewcanrecognizethatthereisanotherforceoperatinghereaswell-thefuturetreeitself,whichwantssobadlytoexistthatitpullstheacornintobeing,drawingtheseedlingforthwithlongingoutofthevoid,guidingtheevolutionfromnothingnesstomaturity.

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