Chapter 99

           

           WhenwereturntoUbud,IgostraightbacktoFelipe’shouseanddon’tleavehisbedroomforapproximatelyanothermonth.Thisisonlythefaintestofexaggerations.Ihaveneverbeenlovedandadoredlikethisbeforebyanyone,neverwithsuchpleasureandsingle-mindedconcentration.NeverhaveIbeensounpeeled,revealed,unfurledandhurledthroughtheeventoflovemaking.

           OnethingIdoknowaboutintimacyisthattherearecertainnaturallawswhichgovernthesexualexperienceoftwopeople,andthattheselawscannotbebudgedanymorethangravitycanbenegotiatedwith.Tofeelphysicallycomfortablewithsomeoneelse’sbodyisnotadecisionyoucanmake.Ithasverylittletodowithhowtwopeoplethinkoractortalkorevenlook.Themysteriousmagnetiseitherthere,buriedsomewheredeepbehindthesternum,oritisnot.Whenitisn’tthere(asIhavelearnedinthepast,withheartbreakingclarity)youcannomoreforceittoexistthanasurgeoncanforceapatient’sbodytoacceptakidneyfromthewrongdonor.MyfriendAnniesaysitallcomesdowntoonesimplequestion:"Doyouwantyourbellypressedagainstthisperson’sbellyforever-ornot?"

           FelipeandI,aswediscovertoourdelight,areaperfectlymatched,geneticallyengineeredbelly-to-bellysuccessstory.Therearenopartsofourbodieswhichareinanywayallergictoanypartsoftheother’sbody.Nothingisdangerous,nothingisdifficult,nothingisrefused.Everythinginoursensualuniverseis-simplyandthoroughly-complemented.And,also…complimented.

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