Chapter 24

           

           IamlearningabouttwentynewItalianwordsaday.I’malwaysstudying,flippingthroughmyindexcardswhileIwalkaroundthecity,dodginglocalpedestrians.WhereamIgettingthebrainspacetostorethesewords?I’mhopingthatmaybemymindhasdecidedtoclearoutsomeoldnegativethoughtsandsadmemoriesandreplacethemwiththeseshinynewwords.

           IworkhardatItalian,butIkeephopingitwillonedayjustberevealedtome,whole,perfect.OnedayIwillopenmymouthandbemagicallyfluent.ThenIwillbearealItaliangirl,insteadofatotalAmericanwhostillcan’thearsomeonecallacrossthestreettohisfriendMarcowithoutwantinginstinctivelytoyellback"Polo!"IwishthatItalianwouldsimplytakeupresidencewithinme,buttherearesomanyglitchesinthislanguage.Like,whyaretheItalianwordsfor"tree"and"hotel"(alberovs.albergo)soverysimilar?ThiscausesmetokeepaccidentallytellingpeoplethatIgrewupon"aChristmashotelfarm"insteadofthemoreaccurateandslightlylesssurrealdescription:"Christmastreefarm."Andthentherearewordswithdoubleoreventriplemeanings.Forinstance:tasso.Whichcanmeaneitherinterestrate,badger,oryewtree.Dependingonthecontext,Isuppose.MostupsettingtomeiswhenIstumbleonItalianwordsthatareactually-Ihatetosayit-ugly.Itakethisasalmostapersonalaffront.I’msorry,butIdidn’tcomeallthewaytoItalytolearnhowtosayawordlikeschermo(screen).

           Still,overallit’ssoworthwhile.It’smostlyapurepleasure.

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