Chapter 107

           

           TheplaceweendupgoingonvacationisatinyislandcalledGiliMeno,locatedoffthecoastofLombok,whichisthenextstopeastofBaliinthegreat,sprawlingIndonesianarchipelago.I’dbeentoGiliMenobefore,andIwantedtoshowittoFelipe,whohadneverbeenthere.

           TheislandofGiliMenoisoneofthemostimportantplacesintheworldtome.IcameherebymyselftwoyearsagowhenIwasinBaliforthefirsttime.Iwasonthatmagazineassignment,writingaboutYogavacations,andI’djustfinishedtwoweeksofmightilyrestorativeYogaclasses.ButIhaddecidedtoextendmystayinIndonesiaaftertheassignmentwasup,sinceIwasalreadyallthewayoverhereinAsia.WhatIwantedtodo,actually,wastofindsomeplaceveryremoteandgivemyselfaten-dayretreatofabsolutesolitudeandabsolutesilence.

           WhenIlookbackatthefouryearsthatelapsedbetweenmymarriagestartingtofallapartandthedayIwasfinallydivorcedandfree,Iseeadetailedchronicleoftotalpain.AndthemomentwhenIcametothistinyislandallbymyselfwastheveryworstofthatentiredarkjourney.Thebottomofthepainandthemiddleofit.Myunhappymindwasabattlefieldofconflicteddemons.AsImademydecisiontospendtendaysaloneandinsilenceinthemiddleofexactlynowhere,Itoldallmywarringandconfusedpartsthesamething:"We’reallheretogethernow,guys,allalone.Andwe’regoingtohavetoworkoutsomekindofdealforhowtogetalong,orelseeverybodyisgoingtodietogether,soonerorlater.

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