Chapter 5

           

           IfI’dhadanywayofknowingthatthingswere-asLilyTomlinoncesaid-goingtogetawholelotworsebeforetheygotworse,I’mnotsurehowwellIwouldhavesleptthatnight.Butsevenverydifficultmonthslater,Ididleavemyhusband.WhenIfinallymadethatdecision,Ithoughttheworstofitwasover.ThisonlyshowshowlittleIknewaboutdivorce.

           TherewasonceacartooninTheNewYorkermagazine.Twowomentalking,onesayingtotheother:"Ifyoureallywanttogettoknowsomeone,youhavetodivorcehim."Ofcourse,myexperiencewastheopposite.IwouldsaythatifyoureallywanttoSTOPknowingsomeone,youhavetodivorcehim.Orher.Becausethisiswhathappenedbetweenmeandmyhusband.Ibelievethatweshockedeachotherbyhowswiftlywewentfrombeingthepeoplewhokneweachotherbestintheworldtobeingapairofthemostmutuallyincomprehensiblestrangerswhoeverlived.Atthebottomofthatstrangenesswastheabysmalfactthatwewerebothdoingsomethingtheotherpersonwouldneverhaveconceivedpossible;heneverdreamedIwouldactuallyleavehim,andIneverinmywildestimaginationthoughthewouldmakeitsodifficultformetogo.

           ItwasmymostsincerebeliefwhenIleftmyhusbandthatwecouldsettleourpracticalaffairsinafewhourswithacalculator,somecommonsenseandabitofgoodwilltowardthepersonwe’donceloved.Myinitialsuggestionwasthatwesellthehouseanddividealltheassetsfifty-fifty;itneveroccurredtomewe’dproceedinanyotherway.Hedidn’tfindthissuggestionfair.

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