Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 96

           BecauseIfeltitwastoosoonformetobereceivingagentlemansuitor.

           Thatsaid,Iwokeupat2:00AMwithaheavysighandaphysicalhungersodeepIdidn’thaveanyideaofhowtosatisfyit.ThelunaticcatwholivesinmyhousewashowlingmournfullyforsomereasonandItoldhim,"Iknowexactlyhowyoufeel."Ihadtodosomethingaboutmylonging,soIgotup,wenttothekitcheninmynightgown,peeledapoundofpotatoes,boiledthemup,slicedthem,friedtheminbutter,saltedthemgenerouslyandateeverybiteofthem-askingmybodythewholewhileifitwouldpleaseacceptthesatisfactionofapoundoffriedpotatoesinlieuofthefulfillmentoflovemaking.

           Mybodyreplied,onlyaftereatingeverybiteofthefood:"Nodeal,babe."

           SoIclimbedbackintobed,sighedinboredomandcommencedto…

           Well.Awordaboutmasturbation,ifImay.Sometimesitcanbeahandy(forgiveme)tool,butothertimesitcanbesoacutelyunsatisfyingthatitonlymakesyoufeelworseintheend.Afterayearandhalfofcelibacy,afterayearandahalfofcallingmyownnameinmybed-built-for-one,Iwasgettingalittlesickofthesport.Still,tonight,inmyrestlessstate-whatelsecouldIdo?Thepotatoeshadn’tworked.SoIhadmywaywithmyselfyetagain.Asusual,mymindpagedthroughitsbacklogoferoticfiles,lookingfortherightfantasyormemorythatwouldhelpgetthejobdonefastest

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