Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 96

           Parkedinfrontofmyhouse,wesharedafewsweet,salty,sandyday-at-the-oceankisses.Itwaslovely.Ofcourseitwaslovely.Butstill,andagain,Isaidno.

           "That’sfine,darling,"hesaid."Butcomeovertomyhousetomorrownightfordinner,andI’llmakeyouasteak."

           ThenhedroveoffandIwenttobedalone.

           Ihaveahistoryofmakingdecisionsveryquicklyaboutmen.Ihavealwaysfalleninlovefastandwithoutmeasuringrisks.Ihaveatendencynotonlytoseethebestineveryone,buttoassumethateveryoneisemotionallycapableofreachinghishighestpotential.IhavefalleninlovemoretimesthanIcaretocountwiththehighestpotentialofaman,ratherthanwiththemanhimself,andthenIhavehungontotherelationshipforalongtime(sometimesfartoolong)waitingforthemantoascendtohisowngreatness.ManytimesinromanceIhavebeenavictimofmyownoptimism.

           Imarriedyoungandquick,fromaplaceofloveandhope,butwithoutalotofdiscussionoverwhattherealitiesofmarriagewouldmean.Nobodyadvisedmeonmymarriage.Ihadbeenraisedbymyparentstobeindependent,self-providing,self-deciding.BythetimeIreachedtheageoftwenty-four,itwasassumedbyeveryonethatIcouldmakeallmyownchoices,autonomously.Ofcoursetheworldwasnotalwayslikethis.IfI’dbeenbornduringanyothercenturyofWesternpatriarchy,Iwould’vebeenconsideredthepropertyofmyfather,untilwhichtimehepassedmeovertomyhusband,tobecomemaritalproperty.Iwould’vehadpreciouslittlesayinthemajormattersofmyownlife.

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