Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 6

           WhenIwasn’tfeelingsuicidalaboutmydivorce,orsuicidalaboutmydramawithDavid,Iwasactuallyfeelingkindofdelightedaboutallthecompartmentsoftimeandspacethatwereappearinginmydays,duringwhichIcouldaskmyselftheradicalnewquestion:"Whatdoyouwanttodo,Liz?"

           Mostofthetime(stillsotroubledfrombailingoutofmymarriage)Ididn’tevendaretoanswerthequestion,butjustthrilledprivatelytoitsexistence.AndwhenIfinallystartedtoanswer,Ididsocautiously.Iwouldonlyallowmyselftoexpresslittlebaby-stepwants.Like:

           IwanttogotoaYogaclass.

           Iwanttoleavethispartyearly,soIcangohomeandreadanovel.

           Iwanttobuymyselfanewpencilbox.

           Thentherewouldalwaysbethatoneweirdanswer,sameeverytime:

           IwanttolearnhowtospeakItalian.

           Foryears,I’dwishedIcouldspeakItalian-alanguageIfindmorebeautifulthanroses-butIcouldnevermakethepracticaljustificationforstudyingit.WhynotjustboneupontheFrenchorRussianI’dalreadystudiedyearsago?OrlearntospeakSpanish,thebettertohelpmecommunicatewithmillionsofmyfellowAmericans?WhatwasIgoingtodowithItalian?It’snotlikeIwasgoingtomovethere.Itwouldbemorepracticaltolearnhowtoplaytheaccordion.

           Butwhymusteverythingalwayshaveapracticalapplication?I’dbeensuchadiligentsoldierforyears-working,producing,nevermissingadeadline,takingcareofmylovedones,mygumsandmycreditrecord,voting,etc.

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