Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 5

           SoIuppedmyoffer,evensuggestingthisdifferentkindoffifty-fiftysplit:WhatifhetookalltheassetsandItookalltheblame?Butnoteventhatofferwouldbringasettlement.NowIwasataloss.Howdoyounegotiateonceyou’veofferedeverything?Icoulddonothingnowbutwaitforhiscounterproposal.MyguiltathavinglefthimforbademefromthinkingIshouldbeallowedtokeepevenadimeofthemoneyI’dmadeinthelastdecade.Moreover,mynewfoundspiritualitymadeitessentialtomethatwenotbattle.Sothiswasmyposition-Iwouldneitherdefendmyselffromhim,norwouldIfighthim.Forthelongesttime,againstthecounselofallwhocaredaboutme,Iresistedevenconsultingalawyer,becauseIconsideredeventhattobeanactofwar.IwantedtobeallGandhiaboutthis.IwantedtobeallNelsonMandelaaboutthis.NotrealizingatthetimethatbothGandhiandMandelawerelawyers.

           Monthspassed.MylifehunginlimboasIwaitedtobereleased,waitedtoseewhatthetermswouldbe.Wewerelivingseparately(hehadmovedintoourManhattanapartment),butnothingwasresolved.Billspiledup,careersstalled,thehousefellintoruinandmyhusband’ssilenceswerebrokenonlybyhisoccasionalcommunicationsremindingmewhatacriminaljerkIwas.

           AndthentherewasDavid.

           AllthecomplicationsandtraumasofthoseuglydivorceyearsweremultipliedbythedramaofDavid-theguyIfellinlovewithasIwastakingleaveofmymarriage.

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