Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 2

           That’sonlynatural;therearealwaystwofiguresinamarriage,afterall-twovotes,twoopinions,twoconflictingsetsofdecisions,desiresandlimitations.ButIdon’tthinkit’sappropriateformetodiscusshisissuesinmybook.NorwouldIaskanyonetobelievethatIamcapableofreportinganunbiasedversionofourstory,andthereforethechronicleofourmarriage’sfailurewillremainuntoldhere.IalsowillnotdiscusshereallthereasonswhyIdidstillwanttobehiswife,orallhiswonderfulness,orwhyIlovedhimandwhyIhadmarriedhimandwhyIwasunabletoimaginelifewithouthim.Iwon’topenanyofthat.Letitbesufficienttosaythat,onthisnight,hewasstillmylighthouseandmyalbatrossinequalmeasure.Theonlythingmoreunthinkablethanleavingwasstaying;theonlythingmoreimpossiblethanstayingwasleaving.Ididn’twanttodestroyanythingoranybody.Ijustwantedtoslipquietlyoutthebackdoor,withoutcausinganyfussorconsequences,andthennotstoprunninguntilIreachedGreenland.

           Thispartofmystoryisnotahappyone,Iknow.ButIshareitherebecausesomethingwasabouttooccuronthatbathroomfloorthatwouldchangeforevertheprogressionofmylife-almostlikeoneofthosecrazyastronomicalsuper-eventswhenaplanetflipsoverinouterspacefornoreasonwhatsoever,anditsmoltencoreshifts,relocatingitspolesandalteringitsshaperadically,suchthatthewholemassoftheplanetsuddenlybecomesoblonginsteadofspherical.Somethinglikethat.

           WhathappenedwasthatIstartedtopray.

           Youknow-like,toGod.

           

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