Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 17

           )Wasitcultural?(IsthisjustthefalloutofapostfeministAmericancareergirltryingtofindbalanceinanincreasinglystressfulandalienatingurbanworld?)Wasitastrological?(AmIsosadbecauseI’mathin-skinnedCancerwhosemajorsignsareallruledbyunstableGemini?)Wasitartistic?(Don’tcreativepeoplealwayssufferfromdepressionbecausewe’resosupersensitiveandspecial?)Wasitevolutionary?(DoIcarryinmetheresidualpanicthatcomesaftermillenniaofmyspecies’attemptingtosurviveabrutalworld?)Wasitkarmic?(Areallthesespasmsofgriefjusttheconsequencesofbadbehaviorinpreviouslifetimes,thelastobstaclesbeforeliberation?)Wasithormonal?Dietary?Philosophical?Seasonal?Environmental?WasItappingintoauniversalyearningforGod?DidIhaveachemicalimbalance?OrdidIjustneedtogetlaid?

           Whatalargenumberoffactorsconstituteasinglehumanbeing!Howverymanylayersweoperateon,andhowverymanyinfluenceswereceivefromourminds,ourbodies,ourhistories,ourfamilies,ourcities,oursoulsandourlunches!Icametofeelthatmydepressionwasprobablysomeever-shiftingassortmentofallthosefactors,andprobablyalsoincludedsomestuffIcouldn’tnameorclaim.SoIfacedthefightateverylevel.Iboughtallthoseembarrassinglytitledself-helpbooks(alwaysbeingcertaintowrapupthebooksinthelatestissueofHustler,sothatstrangerswouldn’tknowwhatIwasreallyreading).Icommencedtogettingprofessionalhelpwithatherapistwhowasaskindasshewasinsightful.Iprayedlikedanovicenun.

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