Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 16

           He’spolitebutrelentless,andhealwaystripsmeupeventually.HeasksifIhaveanyreasontobehappythatIknowof.HeaskswhyIamallbymyselftonight,yetagain.Heasks(thoughwe’vebeenthroughthislineofquestioninghundredsoftimesalready)whyIcan’tkeeparelationshipgoing,whyIruinedmymarriage,whyImessedthingsupwithDavid,whyImessedthingsupwitheverymanI’veeverbeenwith.HeasksmewhereIwasthenightIturnedthirty,andwhythingshavegonesosoursincethen.HeaskswhyIcan’tgetmyacttogether,andwhyI’mnotathomelivinginanicehouseandraisingnicechildrenlikeanyrespectablewomanmyageshouldbe.Heaskswhy,exactly,IthinkIdeserveavacationinRomewhenI’vemadesucharubbleofmylife.HeasksmewhyIthinkthatrunningawaytoItalylikeacollegekidwillmakemehappy.HeaskswhereIthinkI’llendupinmyoldage,ifIkeeplivingthisway.

           Iwalkbackhome,hopingtoshakethem,buttheykeepfollowingme,thesetwogoons.DepressionhasafirmhandonmyshoulderandLonelinessharanguesmewithhisinterrogation.Idon’tevenbothereatingdinner;Idon’twantthemwatchingme.Idon’twanttoletthemupthestairstomyapartment,either,butIknowDepression,andhe’sgotabillyclub,sothere’snostoppinghimfromcominginifhedecidesthathewantsto.

           "It’snotfairforyoutocomehere,"ItellDepression."Ipaidyouoffalready.IservedmytimebackinNewYork

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