Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 104

           AmIcenteredenoughnowtobethecenterofsomebodyelse’slife?ButwhenIfinallybroughtupthetopicwithhimonenight,hesaid,"HaveIaskedyoutobethatperson,darling?HaveIaskedyoutobethecenterofmylife?"

           Iwasimmediatelyashamedofmyselfformyvanity,forhavingassumedthathewantedmetostaywithhimforeversothathecouldindulgemywhimstilltheendoftime.

           "I’msorry,"Isaid."Thatwasalittlearrogant,wasn’tit?"

           "Alittle,"heacknowledged,thenkissedmyear."Butnotsomuch,really.Darling,ofcourseit’ssomethingwehavetodiscussbecausehere’sthetruth-I’mwildlyinlovewithyou."Iblanchedinreflex,andhemadeaquickjoke,tryingtobereassuring:"Imeanthatinacompletelyhypotheticalway,ofcourse."Butthenhesaidinallseriousness,"Look,I’mfifty-twoyearsold.Believeme,Ialreadyknowhowtheworldworks.Irecognizethatyoudon’tlovemeyetthewayIloveyou,butthetruthisthatIdon’treallycare.Forsomereason,IfeelthesamewayaboutyouthatIfeltaboutmykidswhentheyweresmall-thatitwasn’ttheirjobtoloveme,itwasmyjobtolovethem.Youcandecidetofeelhoweveryouwantto,butIloveyouandIwillalwaysloveyou.Evenifweneverseeeachotheragain,youalreadybroughtmebacktolife,andthat’salot.Andofcourse,I’dliketosharemylifewithyou.Theonlyproblemis,I’mnotsurehowmuchofalifeIcanofferyouinBali."

           ThisisaconcernI’vehad,too.I’vebeenwatchingtheexpatriatesocietyinUbud,andIknowforastone-coldfactthisisnotthelifeforme.

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