Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 62

           It’sridiculoushowmuchI’vebeentalkingatthisAshram,theoneplaceintheworldwheresilenceshould-andcan-reign.

           SoI’mnotgoingtobetheAshramsocialbunnyanymore,I’vedecided.Nomorescurrying,gossiping,joking.Nomorespotlight-hoggingorconversation-dominating.Nomoreverbaltap-dancingforpenniesofaffirmation.It’stimetochange.NowthatRichardisgone,I’mgoingtomaketheremainderofmystayacompletelyquietexperience.Thiswillbedifficult,butnotimpossible,becausesilenceisuniversallyrespectedattheAshram.Thewholecommunitywillsupportit,recognizingyourdecisionasadisciplinedactofdevotion.Inthebookstoretheyevenselllittlebadgesyoucanwearwhichread,"IaminSilence."

           I’mgoingtobuyfourofthoselittlebadges.

           OnthedrivebacktotheAshram,IreallyletmyselfdipintoafantasyaboutjusthowsilentIamgoingtobecomenow.Iwillbesosilentthatitwillmakemefamous.IimaginemyselfbecomingknownasThatQuietGirl.I’lljustkeeptotheAshramschedule,takemymealsinsolitude,meditateforendlesshourseverydayandscrubthetemplefloorswithoutmakingapeep.Myonlyinteractionwithotherswillbetosmilebeatificallyatthemfromwithinmyself-containedworldofstillnessandpiety.Peoplewilltalkaboutme.They’llask,"WhoisThatQuietGirlintheBackoftheTemple,alwaysscrubbingthefloors,downonherknees?Sheneverspeaks.She’ssoelusive.She’ssomystical.Ican’tevenimaginewhathervoicesoundslike

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