Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 59

           Orifshe’shadanaffairwithsomeoneandthewholecommunityknowsaboutit,oh,itwouldbequitedifficulttofindahusbandafterthat…"

           Iquicklyranthroughthelist,tryingtoseehowmarriageableIwouldappearinIndiansociety.Idon’tknowwhethermyhoroscopeisgoodorbad,butI’mdefinitelytoooldandI’mwaytooeducated,andmymoralshavebeenpubliclydemonstratedtobequitetarnished…I’mnotaveryappealingprospect.Atleastmyskinisfair.Ihaveonlythisinmyfavor.

           Tulsihadtogotoanothercousin’sweddinglastweek,andshewassaying(inveryun-Indianfashion)howmuchshehatesweddings.Allthatdancingandgossip.Allthatdressingup.ShewouldratherbeattheAshramscrubbingfloorsandmeditating.Nobodyelseinherfamilycanunderstandthis;herdevotiontoGodiswaybeyondanythingtheyconsidernormal.Tulsisaid,"Inmyfamily,theyhavealreadygivenuponmeastoodifferent.Ihaveestablishedareputationforbeingsomeonewho,ifyoutellhertodoonething,willalmostcertainlydotheother.Ialsohaveatemper.AndI’mnotdedicatedtomystudies,exceptthatnowIwillbe,becausenowI’mgoingtocollegeandIcandecideformyselfwhatI’minterestedin.Iwanttostudypsychology,justasourGurudidwhensheattendedcollege.I’mconsideredadifficultgirl.IhaveareputationforneedingtobetoldagoodreasontodosomethingbeforeIwilldoit.Mymotherunderstandsthisaboutmeandalwaystriestogivegoodreasons,butmyfatherdoesn’t.Hegivesreasons,butIdon’tthinkthey’regoodenough

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