Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 58

           Controlyourthoughts?Insteadoftheotherwayaround?Butimagineifyoucould?Thisisnotaboutrepressionordenial.Repressionanddenialsetupelaborategamestopretendthatnegativethoughtsandfeelingsarenotoccurring.WhatRichardistalkingaboutisinsteadadmittingtotheexistenceofnegativethoughts,understandingwheretheycamefromandwhytheyarrived,andthen-withgreatforgivenessandfortitude-dismissingthem.Thisisapracticethatfitshand-in-glovewithanypsychologicalworkyoudoduringtherapy.Youcanusetheshrink’sofficetounderstandwhyyouhavethesedestructivethoughtsinthefirstplace;youcanusespiritualexercisestohelpovercomethem.It’sasacrificetoletthemgo,ofcourse.It’salossofoldhabits,comfortingoldgrudgesandfamiliarvignettes.Ofcoursethisalltakespracticeandeffort.It’snotateachingthatyoucanhearonceandthenexpecttomasterimmediately.It’sconstantvigilanceandIwanttodoit.Ineedtodoit,formystrength.DevofarmileossaishowtheysayitinItalian."Ineedtomakemybones."

           SoI’vestartedbeingvigilantaboutwatchingmythoughtsallday,andmonitoringthem.Irepeatthisvowabout700timesaday:"Iwillnotharborunhealthythoughtsanymore."Everytimeadiminishingthoughtarises,Irepeatthevow.Iwillnotharborunhealthythoughtsanymore.ThefirsttimeIheardmyselfsaythis,myinnerearperkedupattheword"harbor,"whichisanounaswellasaverb.Aharbor,ofcourse,isaplaceofrefuge,aportofentry

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