Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 56

           Nomovement,noagitation,notevenmantra-justpureregarding.Let’sseewhatcomesup.Unfortunately,Ihadforgottenaboutwhat"comesup"atduskinIndia:mosquitoes.AsIsoonasIsatdownonthatbenchinthelovelygloaming,Icouldhearthemosquitoescomingatme,brushingagainstmyfaceandlanding-inagroupassault-onmyhead,ankles,arms.Andthentheirfiercelittleburns.Ididn’tlikethis.Ithought,"ThisisabadtimeofdaytopracticeVipassanameditation."

           Ontheotherhand-whenisitagoodtimeofday,orlife,tositindetachedstillness?Whenisn’ttheresomethingbuzzingabout,tryingtodistractyouandgetariseoutofyou?SoImadeadecision(inspiredagainbymyGuru’sinstructionthatwearetobecomescientistsofourowninnerexperience).Ipresentedmyselfwithanexperiment-whatifIsatthroughthisforonce?Insteadofslappingandgriping,whatifIsatthroughthediscomfort,justforonehourofmylonglife?

           SoIdidit.Instillness,Iwatchedmyselfgeteatenbymosquitoes.Tobehonest,partofmewaswonderingwhatthislittlemachoexperimentwasmeanttoprove,butanotherpartofmewellknew-itwasabeginner’sattemptatself-mastery.IfIcouldsitthroughthisnonlethalphysicaldiscomfort,thenwhatotherdiscomfortsmightIsomedaybeabletositthrough?Whataboutemotionaldiscomforts,whichareevenharderformetoendure?Whataboutjealousy,anger,fear,disappointment,loneliness,shame,boredom?

           TheitchwasmaddeningatfirstbuteventuallyitjustmeldedintoageneralburningfeelingandIrodethatheattoamildeuphoria

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