Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 53

           

           AlltrueGurusarealikeinthefactthattheyexistinaconstantstateofself-realization,butexternalcharacteristicsdiffer.TheapparentdifferencesbetweenmyGuruandhermasterarevast-she’safeminine,multilingual,university-educatedandsavvyprofessionalwoman;hewasasometimes-capricious,sometimes-kinglySouthIndianoldlion.ForaniceNewEnglandgirllikeme,itiseasytofollowmylivingteacher,whoissoreassuringinherpropriety-exactlythekindofGuruyoucouldtakehometomeetMomandDad.ButSwamiji…hewassuchawildcard.AndfromthefirsttimeIcametothisYogicpathandsawphotographsofhim,andheardstoriesabouthim,I’vethought,"I’mjustgoingtostayclearofthischaracter.He’stoobig.Hemakesmenervous."

           ButnowthatIamhereinIndia,hereintheAshramthatwashishome,I’mfindingthatallIwantisSwamiji.AllIfeelisSwamiji.TheonlypersonItalktoinmyprayersandmeditationsisSwamiji.It’stheSwamijichannel,roundtheclock.IaminthefurnaceofSwamijihereandIcanfeelhimworkingonme.Eveninhisdeath,there’ssomethingsoearthyandpresentabouthim.He’sthemasterIneedwhenI’mreallystruggling,becauseIcancursehimandshowhimallmyfailuresandflawsandallhedoesislaugh.Laugh,andloveme.Hislaughtermakesmeangrierandtheangermotivatesmetoact.AndIneverfeelhimclosertomethanwhenI’mstrugglingthroughtheGurugita,withitsunfathomableSanskritverses

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