Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 42

           Youwouldn’tthinkso,but-

           Me:OK,butlet’sMEDITATEnow,please?OmNamah-

           Mind:Right!Idefinitelywanttohelpyoumeditate!Andthat’swhywe’regoingtoskiptheimageofanislandonalakeoranocean,becausethat’sobviouslynotworking.Solet’simaginethatyou’reanislandin…ariver!

           Me:Oh,youmeanlikeBannermanIsland,intheHudsonRiver?

           Mind:Yes!Exactly!Perfect.Therefore,inconclusion,let’smeditateonthisimage-envisionthatyouareanislandinariver.

           Allthethoughtsthatfloatbyasyou’remeditating,thesearejusttheriver’snaturalcurrentsandyoucanignorethembecauseyouareanisland.

           Me:Wait,IthoughtyousaidIwasatemple.

           Mind:That’sright,sorry.You’reatempleonanisland.Infact,youareboththetempleandtheisland.

           Me:AmIalsotheriver?

           Mind:No,theriverisjustthethoughts.

           Me:Stop!Pleasestop!YOU’REMAKINGMECRAZY!!!

           Mind(wounded):Sorry.Iwasonlytryingtohelp.

           Me:OmNamahShivaya…OmNamahShivaya…OmNamahShivaya…

           Herethereisapromisingeight-secondpauseinthoughts.Butthen-

           Mind:Areyoumadatmenow?

           andthenwithabiggasp,likeIamcomingupforair,mymindwins,myeyesflyopenandIquit.Intears.AnAshramissupposedtobeaplacewhereyoucometodeepenyourmeditation,butthisisadisaster.Thepressureistoomuchforme.Ican’tdoit.ButwhatshouldIdo?Runoutofthetemplecryingafterfourteenminutes,everyday?

           Thismorning,though,insteadoffightingit,Ijuststopped.Igaveup.Iletmyselfslumpagainstthewallbehindme.

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