Ешь, молись, люби

Chapter 4

           Pleasetellmewhattodo…"

           Andsotheprayernarroweditselfdowntothatsimpleentreaty-Pleasetellmewhattodo-repeatedagainandagain.Idon’tknowhowmanytimesIbegged.IonlyknowthatIbeggedlikesomeonewhowaspleadingforherlife.Andthecryingwentonforever.

           Until-quiteabruptly-itstopped.

           Quiteabruptly,IfoundthatIwasnotcryinganymore.I’dstoppedcrying,infact,inmid-sob.Mymiseryhadbeencompletelyvacuumedoutofme.Iliftedmyforeheadoffthefloorandsatupinsurprise,wonderingifIwouldseenowsomeGreatBeingwhohadtakenmyweepingaway.Butnobodywasthere.Iwasjustalone.Butnotreallyalone,either.IwassurroundedbysomethingIcanonlydescribeasalittlepocketofsilence-asilencesorarethatIdidn’twanttoexhale,forfearofscaringitoff.Iwasseamlesslystill.Idon’tknowwhenI’deverfeltsuchstillness.

           ThenIheardavoice.Pleasedon’tbealarmed-itwasnotanOldTestamentHollywoodCharltonHestonvoice,norwasitavoicetellingmeImustbuildabaseballfieldinmybackyard.Itwasmerelymyownvoice,speakingfromwithinmyownself.ButthiswasmyvoiceasIhadneverhearditbefore.Thiswasmyvoice,butperfectlywise,calmandcompassionate.ThiswaswhatmyvoicewouldsoundlikeifI’donlyeverexperiencedloveandcertaintyinmylife.HowcanIdescribethewarmthofaffectioninthatvoice,asitgavemetheanswerthatwouldforeversealmyfaithinthedivine?

           Thevoicesaid:Gobacktobed,Liz.

           Iexhaled.

           Itwassoimmediatelyclearthatthiswastheonlythingtodo

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