Большие ожидания

Chapter 39

           

           IwouldnothavegonebacktoJoenow,IwouldnothavegonebacktoBiddynow,foranyconsideration;simply,Isuppose,becausemysenseofmyownworthlessconducttothemwasgreaterthaneveryconsideration.NowisdomonearthcouldhavegivenmethecomfortthatIshouldhavederivedfromtheirsimplicityandfidelity;butIcouldnever,never,undowhatIhaddone.

           Ineveryrageofwindandrushofrain,Iheardpursuers.Twice,Icouldhavesworntherewasaknockingandwhisperingattheouterdoor.Withthesefearsuponme,IbeganeithertoimagineorrecallthatIhadhadmysteriouswarningsofthisman’sapproach.That,forweeksgoneby,IhadpassedfacesinthestreetswhichIhadthoughtlikehis.Thattheselikenesseshadgrownmorenumerous,ashe,comingoverthesea,haddrawnnearer.Thathiswickedspirithadsomehowsentthesemessengerstomine,andthatnowonthisstormynighthewasasgoodashisword,andwithme.

           CrowdingupwiththesereflectionscamethereflectionthatIhadseenhimwithmychildisheyestobeadesperatelyviolentman;thatIhadheardthatotherconvictreiteratethathehadtriedtomurderhim;thatIhadseenhimdownintheditchtearingandfightinglikeawildbeast.OutofsuchremembrancesIbroughtintothelightofthefireahalf-formedterrorthatitmightnotbesafetobeshutuptherewithhiminthedeadofthewildsolitarynight.Thisdilateduntilitfilledtheroom,andimpelledmetotakeacandleandgoinandlookatmydreadfulburden

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