Большие ожидания

Chapter 47

           WhyIhoardedupthislastwretchedlittleragoftherobeofhopethatwasrentandgiventothewinds,howdoIknow?Whydidyouwhoreadthis,committhatnotdissimilarinconsistencyofyourownlastyear,lastmonth,lastweek?

           ItwasanunhappylifethatIlived;anditsonedominantanxiety,toweringoverallitsotheranxieties,likeahighmountainabovearangeofmountains,neverdisappearedfrommyview.Still,nonewcauseforfeararose.LetmestartfrommybedasIwould,withtheterrorfreshuponmethathewasdiscovered;letmesitlistening,asIwouldwithdread,forHerbert’sreturningstepatnight,lestitshouldbefleeterthanordinary,andwingedwithevilnewsforallthat,andmuchmoretolikepurpose,theroundofthingswenton.Condemnedtoinactionandastateofconstantrestlessnessandsuspense,Irowedaboutinmyboat,andwaited,waited,waited,asIbestcould.

           Therewerestatesofthetidewhen,havingbeendowntheriver,Icouldnotgetbackthroughtheeddy-chafedarchesandstarlingsofoldLondonBridge;then,IleftmyboatatawharfneartheCustomHouse,tobebroughtupafterwardstotheTemplestairs.Iwasnotaversetodoingthis,asitservedtomakemeandmyboatacommonerincidentamongthewater-sidepeoplethere.FromthisslightoccasionsprangtwomeetingsthatIhavenowtotellof.

           Oneafternoon,lateinthemonthofFebruary,Icameashoreatthewharfatdusk.

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