Большие ожидания

Chapter 45

           Itcameintomyheadthathemusthaveoccupiedthisveryvaultofmine,andIgotoutofbedtoassuremyselfthattherewerenoredmarksabout;thenopenedthedoortolookoutintothepassages,andcheermyselfwiththecompanionshipofadistantlight,nearwhichIknewthechamberlaintobedozing.Butallthistime,whyIwasnottogohome,andwhathadhappenedathome,andwhenIshouldgohome,andwhetherProviswassafeathome,werequestionsoccupyingmymindsobusily,thatonemighthavesupposedtherecouldbenomoreroominitforanyothertheme.EvenwhenIthoughtofEstella,andhowwehadpartedthatdayforever,andwhenIrecalledallthecircumstancesofourparting,andallherlooksandtones,andtheactionofherfingerswhilesheknittedeventhenIwaspursuing,hereandthereandeverywhere,thecaution,Don’tgohome.WhenatlastIdozed,insheerexhaustionofmindandbody,itbecameavastshadowyverbwhichIhadtoconjugate.Imperativemood,presenttense:Donotthougohome,lethimnotgohome,letusnotgohome,donotyeoryougohome,letnotthemgohome.Thenpotentially:ImaynotandIcannotgohome;andImightnot,couldnot,wouldnot,andshouldnotgohome;untilIfeltthatIwasgoingdistracted,androlledoveronthepillow,andlookedatthestaringroundsuponthewallagain.

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