Большие ожидания

Chapter 29

           Theunqualifiedtruthis,thatwhenIlovedEstellawiththeloveofaman,IlovedhersimplybecauseIfoundherirresistible.Onceforall;Iknewtomysorrow,oftenandoften,ifnotalways,thatIlovedheragainstreason,againstpromise,againstpeace,againsthope,againsthappiness,againstalldiscouragementthatcouldbe.Onceforall;IlovedhernonethelessbecauseIknewit,andithadnomoreinfluenceinrestrainingmethanifIhaddevoutlybelievedhertobehumanperfection.

           Isoshapedoutmywalkastoarriveatthegateatmyoldtime.WhenIhadrungatthebellwithanunsteadyhand,Iturnedmybackuponthegate,whileItriedtogetmybreathandkeepthebeatingofmyheartmoderatelyquiet.Iheardtheside-dooropen,andstepscomeacrossthecourtyard;butIpretendednottohear,evenwhenthegateswungonitsrustyhinges.

           Beingatlasttouchedontheshoulder,Istartedandturned.Istartedmuchmorenaturallythen,tofindmyselfconfrontedbyamaninasobergraydress.ThelastmanIshouldhaveexpectedtoseeinthatplaceofporteratMissHavisham’sdoor.

           "Orlick!"

           "Ah,youngmaster,there’smorechangesthanyours.Butcomein,comein.It’sopposedtomyorderstoholdthegateopen."

           Ienteredandheswungit,andlockedit,andtookthekeyout."Yes!"saidhe,facinground,afterdoggedlyprecedingmeafewstepstowardsthehouse.

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