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Chapter 26. Nobody’s State of Mind

           ‘Iferventlyhopeshehasnotboredyou?’

           ‘Notatall,’saidClennam.

           Theyhadalittleopenphaetonforthejourney,andweresooninitontheroadhome.Gowan,driving,lightedacigar;Clennamdeclinedone.Dowhathewould,hefellintosuchamoodofabstractionthatGowansaidagain,‘Iamverymuchafraidmymotherhasboredyou?’Towhichherousedhimselftoanswer,‘Notatall!’andsoonrelapsedagain.

           Inthatstateofmindwhichrenderednobodyuneasy,histhoughtfulnesswouldhaveturnedprincipallyonthemanathisside.Hewouldhavethoughtofthemorningwhenhefirstsawhimrootingoutthestoneswithhisheel,andwouldhaveaskedhimself,‘Doeshejerkmeoutofthepathinthesamecareless,cruelway?’Hewouldhavethought,hadthisintroductiontohismotherbeenbroughtaboutbyhimbecauseheknewwhatshewouldsay,andthathecouldthusplacehispositionbeforearivalandloftilywarnhimoff,withouthimselfreposingawordofconfidenceinhim?Hewouldhavethought,eveniftherewerenosuchdesignasthat,hadhebroughthimtheretoplaywithhisrepressedemotions,andtormenthim?Thecurrentofthesemeditationswouldhavebeenstayedsometimesbyarushofshame,bearingaremonstrancetohimselffromhisownopennature,representingthattosheltersuchsuspicions,evenforthepassingmoment,wasnottoholdthehigh,unenviouscoursehehadresolvedtokeep.Atthosetimes,thestrivingwithinhimwouldhavebeenhardest;andlookingupandcatchingGowan’seyes,hewouldhavestartedasifhehaddonehimaninjury

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