Chapter 2

           

           Here’swhattheEncyclopediaGalacticahastosayaboutalcohol.Itsaysthatalcoholisacolourlessvolatileliquidformedbythefermentationofsugarsandalsonotesitsintoxicatingeffectoncertaincarbon-basedlifeforms.

           TheHitchhiker’sGuidetotheGalaxyalsomentionsalcohol.ItsaysthatthebestdrinkinexistenceisthePanGalacticGargleBlaster.

           ItsaysthattheeffectofaPanGalacticGargleBlasterislikehavingyourbrainssmashedoutbyasliceoflemonwrappedroundalargegoldbrick.

           TheGuidealsotellsyouonwhichplanetsthebestPanGalacticGargleBlastersaremixed,howmuchyoucanexpecttopayforoneandwhatvoluntaryorganizationsexisttohelpyourehabilitateafterwards.

           TheGuideeventellsyouhowyoucanmixoneyourself.

           TakethejuicefromonebottleofthatOl’JanxSpirit,itsays.

           PourintoitonemeasureofwaterfromtheseasofSantraginusV—OhthatSantragineanseawater,itsays.OhthoseSantragineanfish!!!

           AllowthreecubesofArcturanMega-gintomeltintothemixture(itmustbeproperlyicedorthebenzineislost).

           AllowfourlitresofFallianmarshgastobubblethroughit,inmemoryofallthosehappyHikerswhohavediedofpleasureintheMarshesofFallia.

           OverthebackofasilverspoonfloatameasureofQualactinHypermintextract,redolentofalltheheadyodoursofthedarkQualactinZones,subtlesweetandmystic.

           DropinthetoothofanAlgolianSuntiger.Watchitdissolve,spreadingthefiresoftheAlgolianSunsdeepintotheheartofthedrink.

           SprinkleZamphuor.

           Addanolive.

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