Chapter 19

           ‘Ihavetoldyouthesetwoepisodesatlengthtoshowhismannerofdealingwithhimselfunderthenewconditionsofhislife.Thereweremanyothersofthesort,morethanIcouldcountonthefingersofmytwohands.Theywereallequallytingedbyahigh-mindedabsurdityofintentionwhichmadetheirfutilityprofoundandtouching.Toflingawayyourdailybreadsoastogetyourhandsfreeforagrapplewithaghostmaybeanactofprosaicheroism.Menhaddoneitbefore(thoughwewhohavelivedknowfullwellthatitisnotthehauntedsoulbutthehungrybodythatmakesanoutcast),andmenwhohadeatenandmeanttoeateverydayhadapplaudedthecreditablefolly.Hewasindeedunfortunate,forallhisrecklessnesscouldnotcarryhimoutfromundertheshadow.Therewasalwaysadoubtofhiscourage.Thetruthseemstobethatitisimpossibletolaytheghostofafact.YoucanfaceitorshirkitandIhavecomeacrossamanortwowhocouldwinkattheirfamiliarshades.ObviouslyJimwasnotofthewinkingsort;butwhatIcouldnevermakeupmymindaboutwaswhetherhislineofconductamountedtoshirkinghisghostortofacinghimout.

           ‘Istrainedmymentaleyesightonlytodiscoverthat,aswiththecomplexionofallouractions,theshadeofdifferencewassodelicatethatitwasimpossibletosay.Itmighthavebeenflightanditmighthavebeenamodeofcombat.

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