Лорд Джим

Chapter 13

           “Thewholewretchedbusiness,”Isaid,“isbitterenough,Ishouldthink,foramanofyourkind...“Itis,itis,”hewhisperedtwice,withhiseyesfixedonthefloor.Itwasheartrending.Hetoweredabovethelight,andIcouldseethedownonhischeek,thecolourmantlingwarmunderthesmoothskinofhisface.Believemeornot,Isayitwasoutrageouslyheartrending.Itprovokedmetobrutality.“Yes,”Isaid;“andallowmetoconfessthatIamtotallyunabletoimaginewhatadvantageyoucanexpectfromthislickingofthedregs.”“Advantage!”hemurmuredoutofhisstillness.“IamdashedifIdo,”Isaid,enraged.“I’vebeentryingtotellyouallthereisinit,”hewentonslowly,asifmeditatingsomethingunanswerable.“Butafterall,itismytrouble.”Iopenedmymouthtoretort,anddiscoveredsuddenlythatI’dlostallconfidenceinmyself;anditwasasifhetoohadgivenmeup,forhemumbledlikeamanthinkinghalfaloud.“Wentaway...wentintohospitals....Notoneofthemwouldfaceit....They!...Hemovedhishandslightlytoimplydisdain.“ButI’vegottogetoverthisthing,andImustn’tshirkanyofitor...Iwon’tshirkanyofit.”Hewassilent.Hegazedasthoughhehadbeenhaunted.Hisunconsciousfacereflectedthepassingexpressionsofscorn,ofdespair,ofresolutionreflectedtheminturn,asamagicmirrorwouldreflecttheglidingpassageofunearthlyshapes.Helivedsurroundedbydeceitfulghosts,byaustereshades.“Oh!nonsense,mydearfellow,”Ibegan.

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