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Chapter 11

           Helookedatherstridinghappilyinthesun;herkhakishirtopenattheneck.Shewalkslikeacoltmoves,hethought.Youdonotrunontosomethinglikethat.Suchthingsdon’thappen.Maybeitneverdidhappen,hethought.Maybeyoudreameditormadeitupanditneverdidhappen.Maybeitislikethedreamsyouhavewhensomeoneyouhaveseeninthecinemacomestoyourbedatnightandissokindandlovely.He’dsleptwiththemallthatwaywhenhewasasleepinbed.HecouldrememberGarbostill,andHarlow.Yes,Harlowmanytimes.Maybeitwaslikethosedreams.

           ButhecouldstillrememberthetimeGarbocametohisbedthenightbeforetheattackatPozoblancoandshewaswearingasoftsilkywoolsweaterwhenheputhisarmaroundherandwhensheleanedforwardherhairsweptforwardandoverhisfaceandshesaidwhyhadhenevertoldherthathelovedherwhenshehadlovedhimallthistime?Shewasnotshy,norcold,nordistant.ShewasjustlovelytoholdandkindandlovelyandliketheolddayswithJackGilbertanditwasastrueasthoughithappenedandhelovedhermuchmorethanHarlowthoughGarbowasonlythereoncewhileHarlowmaybethiswaslikethosedreams.

           Maybeitisn’ttoo,hesaidtohimself.MaybeIcouldreachoverandtouchthatMarianow,hesaidtohimself.Maybeyouareafraidtohesaidtohimself.Maybeyouwouldfindoutthatitneverhappenedanditwasnottrueanditwassomethingyoumadeuplikethosedreamsaboutthepeopleofthecinemaorhowallyouroldgirlscomebackandsleepinthatrobeatnightonallthebarefloors,inthestrawofthehaybarns,thestables,thecorralesandthecortijos,thewoods,thegarages,thetrucksandallthehillsofSpain.Theyallcametothatrobewhenhewasasleepandtheywereallmuchnicerthantheyeverhadbeeninlife.Maybeitwaslikethat.Maybeyouwouldbeafraidtotouchhertoseeifitwastrue.Maybeyouwould,andprobablyitissomethingthatyoumadeuporthatyoudreamed.

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