Волхв

Chapter 72

           Notbecauseweweremoreimmoralthanotherpeople.Butbecauseweweremoremoral.Weattemptedtodothatinourownlives.IhaveattemptedtodoitinthewayIhavebroughtupourchildren.AndImustmakeyouunderstandthatsexisforus,forallofuswhohelpMaurice,notanimportantthing.Ornotthethingitisinmostpeople’slives.Wehavemoreimportantthingstodo."Iwouldnotturnandlookather."BeforethewarItwiceplayedrolessomewhatsimilartoLily’swithyou.SheispreparedtodothingsthatIwasnot.Ihadfarmoreinhibitionstoshed.IalsohadahusbandwhomIlovedsexuallyaswellasintheothermoreimportantways.Butsincewehavepenetratedsodeepintoyourlife,IoweittoyoutosaythatevenwhenmyhusbandwaslivingIsometimesgavemyself,withhisfullknowledgeandconsent,toMaurice.AndinthewarheinhisturnhadanIndianmistress,withmyfullknowledgeandconsent.YetIbelieveourswasaverycompletemarriage,averyhappyone,becausewekepttotwoessentialrules.Wenevertoldeachotherlies.Andtheotherone…IwillnottellyouuntilIknowyoubetter."Ilookedaroundthen,contemptuously.Ifoundhercalmvehemenceuncomfortable;themadnesseruptingoutofcalm.Shesatdownagain,onherthrone."Ofcourse,ifyouwishtoliveintheworldofreceivedideasandreceivedmanners,whatwedid,andwhatmydaughterdid,isdisgusting.Verywell.Butrememberthatthereisanotherpossibleexplanation.Shemayhavebeenbeingverybrave.NeitherInormychildrenpretendtobeordinarypeople.

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