Волхв

Chapter 72

           Nowletusgetthisbusinessofwhatisandwhatisnotsexuallyproperoutoftheway."Hervoicewascold;afierceness."BecauseIliveinaQueenAnnehousedonotthinkIlive,likemostoftherestofourcountry,byaQueenAnnemorality.""Nothingwasfurtherfrommymind.""Willyoulisten?"Iwentandstoodbythewindow,mybacktoher.Ilitacigarette;IfeltthatatlastIoughttohaveherinacorner;Imusthaveherinacorner."HowshallIexplaintoyou?IfMauricewereherehewouldtellyouthatsexisperhapsagreater,butinnowayadifferent,pleasurefromanyother.Hewouldtellyouthatitisonlyonepartandnottheessentialpartintherelationshipwecalllove.Hewouldtellyouthattheessentialpartistruth,thetrusttwopeoplebuildbetweentheirminds.Theirsouls.Whatyouwill.Thattherealinfidelityistheonethathidesthesexualinfidelity.Becausetheonethingthatmustnevercomebetweentwopeoplewhohaveofferedeachotherloveisalie."Istaredoutoverthelawn.Iknewitwasprepared,allshewassaying;perhapslearntbyheart,akeyspeech."Areyoudaringtopreachtome,Mrs.deSeitas?""Areyoudaringtopretendthatyoudonotneedthesermon?""Look""Listentome."Ifhervoicehadheldtheleastsharpnessorarrogance,Ishouldnothavedoneso.Butitwasunexpectedlygentle;almostbeseeching."Iamtryingtoexplainwhatweare.Mauriceconvincedusovertwentyyearsagothatweshouldbanishthenormaltaboosofsexualbehaviorfromourlives.

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