Part 1

Chapter 1

           Iwasbornin1927,theonlychildofmiddle-classparents,bothEnglish,andthemselvesborninthegrotesquelyelongatedshadow,whichtheyneverrosesufficientlyabovehistorytoleave,ofthatmonstrousdwarfQueenVictoria.Iwassenttoapublicschool,Iwastedtwoyearsdoingmynationalservice,IwenttoOxford;andthereIbegantodiscoverIwasnotthepersonIwantedtobe.

           IhadlongbeforemadethediscoverythatIlackedtheparentsandancestorsIneeded.Myfatherwas,throughbeingtherightageattherighttimeratherthanthroughanygreatprofessionaltalent,abrigadier;andmymotherwastheverymodelofawould-bemajorgeneral’swife.Thatis,sheneverarguedwithhimandalwaysbehavedasifhewerelisteninginthenextroom,evenwhenhewasthousandsofmilesaway.Isawverylittleofmyfatherduringthewar,andinhislongabsencesIusedtobuildupamoreorlessimmaculateconceptionofhim,whichhegenerallyabadbutappropriatepunshatteredwithinthefirstforty-eighthoursofhisleave.

           Likeallmennotreallyuptotheirjobs,hewasasticklerforexternalsandpettyquotidianthings;andinlieuofanintellecthehadaccumulatedanarmoryofcapitalizedkeywordslikeDisciplineandTraditionandResponsibility.IfIeverdaredIseldomdidtoarguewithhimhewouldproduceoneofthesetotemwordsandcoshmewithit,asnodoubtinsimilarcircumstanceshecoshedhissubalterns.Ifonestillrefusedtoliedownanddie,helost,orloosed,histemper.

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