Волхв

Chapter 65

           Thepoemsandthelittleepistemologicalfablewereeasiertounderstand;hadclearapplications.ObviouslytheycouldnothavebeensurethatIwouldbreakintotheEarth.Perhapsthereweresuchclueslitteredallovertheplace,itbeingacceptedontheirsidethatIwouldfindonlyaverysmallproportionofthem.ButwhatIdidfindwouldcometomeinadifferentwayfromtheblatantlyplantedcluewithmoreconviction;andyetmightbeasmisleadingasalltheothercluesIhadbeengiven.IwaswastingmytimeatBourani;allImightappeartofindtherewouldconfuseconfusion.Thatwasthemeaningofthefable.BysearchingsofanaticallyIwasmakingadetectivestoryoutofthesummer’sevents,andtoviewlifeasadetectivestory,assomethingthatcouldbededuced,huntedandarrested,wasnomorerealistic(letalonepoetic)thantoviewthedetectivestoryasthemostimportantliterarygenre,insteadofwhatitreallywas,oneoftheleast.OnMoutsa,atthatfirstsightoftheparty,Ihadfelt,inspiteofeverything,ashockofexcitement;andanequallyrevealingdisappointmentwhenIrealizedtheywerenothing:meretourists.PerhapsthatwasmydeepestresentmentofallagainstConchis.Notthathehaddonewhathedid,butthathehadstoppeddoingit.Ihadintendedtobreakintothehouseaswell,towreaksomekindofrevengethere.Butsuddenlythatseemedpettyandmean;andinsufficient;becauseitwasnotthatIstilldidnotintendtohavemyrevenge.OnlynowIsawquiteclearlyhowIwouldhaveit.Theschoolcoulddismissme.

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