Волхв

Chapter 60

           Obviouslyaconsummateyoungactress,andconsummatelyimmoralintothebargain;becauseonlyaprostitutecouldhavebehavedasshedid.Apairofprostitutes,becauseIsawthathersister,June,Rose,mightwellhavebeenpreparedtocarryoutthatfinalabominableseduction.Probablytheywouldhavelikedmetobethusdoublyhumiliated.Allherstoryherstorieshadbeenlies;orgroundbait.Thoseletters,forgeries.Theycouldnotmakeitsoeasyformetotraceher.InagrimflashIguessed:noneofmypostlefttheislandunintercepted.AndfromthatIleapttotherealizationthattheymustnowknowaboutAlison;becauseofcoursetheywouldhaveinterceptedletterscomingtomeaswell.WhenConchishadadvisedmetogobackandmarryAlisonhemusthaveknownshewasdead;Lilymusthaveknownshewasdead.Thenmymindplungedsickeningly,asifIhadwalkedofftheedgeoftheworld.Forgedcuttingsaboutthesisters,forgedcuttings…forgedcuttings.Alison.Istaredatmyowndilatedeyesinthemirror.Suddenlyherhonesty,heruntreacheryherdeathwasthelastanchorleft.Ifshe,ifshe…Iwassweptaway.Thewholeoflifebecameaconspiracy.IstrainedbackthroughtimetoseizeAlison,toseizeherandtobeabsolutelysureofher.ToseizeaquintessentialAlisonbeyondallherpowersofloveorhate.ForawhileIletmymindwanderintoabottomlessmadness.SupposingallmylifethatlastyearhadbeentheveryoppositeofwhatConchissooftensaidsooften,totrickmeonceagainaboutlifeingeneral.

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