Волхв

Chapter 53

           Theyhadbrokeninhisteethandbrandedhistongue,burnthistonguerightdowntotherootswithred-hotiron.Thatwordheshoutedmustfinallyhavedriventhembeyondendurance.Andinthoseastoundingfiveseconds,themostmomentousofmylife,Iunderstoodthisguerrilla.ImeanthatIunderstoodfarbetterthanhedidhimselfwhathewas.Verysimply.Hehelpedme.Becausehemanagedtostretchhisheadtowardsmeandsaythewordhecouldnotsay.Itwasalmostnotasound,butacontortioninhisthroat,afive-syllabledchoking.Butonceagain,onelasttime,itwasunmistakablythatword.Andthewordwasinhiseyes,inhisbeing,totallyinhisbeing.WhatdidChristsayonthecross?Whyhastthouforsakenme?Whatthismansaidwassomethingfarlesssympathetic,farlesspitiful,evenfarlesshuman,butfarprofounder.Hespokeoutofaworldtheveryoppositeofmine.Inminelifehadnoprice.Itwassovaluablethatitwasliterallypriceless.Inhis,onlyonethinghadthatqualityofpricelessness.Itwaseleutheria:freedom.Hewastheimmalleable,theessence,thebeyondreason,beyondlogic,beyondcivilization,beyondhistory.HewasnotGod,becausethereisnoGodwecanknow.ButhewasaproofthatthereisaGodthatwecanneverknow.Hewasthefinalrighttodeny.Tobefreetochoose.He,orwhatmanifesteditselfthroughhim,evenincludedtheinsaneWimmel,thedespicableGermanandAustriantroops.Hewaseveryfreedom,fromtheveryworsttotheverybest.ThefreedomtodesertonthebattlefieldofNeuveChapelle.

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