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Chapter 47

           "WhenIwasthirteenIwaswellthestockeuphemismis…"hervoicesanklowerthanthewind"…interferedwith."Itwaslikehittinganair-pocket;mymindplungedsometerriblewound,somephysicalincapacity…Istaredatthebackofherhead.Shekeptherfaceaverted."I’verationalizeditandrationalizedit,Iknowit’sjustbiology.Mechanism.ButI’ve…"hervoicetrailedaway.Ikissedhershoulderthroughthefabric."It’sasifwitheventhenicestmen,menlikeyouIcan’thelpsuspectingthatthey’rejustusingme.Asifeveryoneelsewasbornabletodistinguishloveandlust.ButIwasn’t."Shelaycurledup,headonhand."I’msosorry.I’mnotabnormal.Ifyoucouldjustbepatientwithme.""Infinitelypatient.""You’reonlythesecondmanI’veevertoldthisto."Itookherhandandkisseditagain.Therewasasilence.Sheturned,gavemealittleself-ashamedsmile.Hercheekswerered."Ithinkaboutyouallthetime.""Ithinkaboutyouallthetime."Foralongtimewesaidnothing;layinthewarmthofanewcloseness.Thenthebellrang.Isaid,"Tohellwithit.I’mnotgoing.""Youmust.""No.""Please."Suchtenderregretinhereyes."Ifwe’regoingtogoon.""I’llcometomorrow.""We’regoingawayfortwodays.""ToNauplia?""Isuppose.""There’ssomuch.""Iknow."Silence;eyes.Thebellrangagain:dang,dang,dang,dang,dang.Shestoodup."Julie.""Nicholas.""Itseemssosimpletome.""Youmustteachme.I’llbeyourpupil.""Wednesday?""Ipromise.

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