Волхв

Chapter 47

           Itmagnifiesallone’sfaults.Complicatesthingsthatoughttobesimple.""Onecanlearntosimplify."Shesaidnothing.Imovedalittlecloser,andbegantocaress,withatimidityIfeltbutwouldinanycasehavesimulated,thesideofherface,hercheek.Sheclosedhereyes,andItracedthelinesoftheeyelidswithmyforefingers;thenthemouth,thenkissedtheunrespondingmouth,thenthesideoftheneckandthetopoftheshoulderwherethewhite-trimmedcollargapedalittle;thenremainedlookingdown.Itseemedtomeafaceonecouldnevertireof,aneternalsourceofdesire,oflove,ofthewilltoprotect;withoutphysicalorpsycho-logicalflaw.SheopenedhereyesandIcouldseeinthemsomethingstillreserved,unsure,notgiving.Sowelaysidebyside,ourfacesonlytwofeetapart,staringateachother.Shereachedoutherhandandtookmine,andweinterlockedfingers,twistedthem,wrestledgently,mock-coupled.Someofherreservemeltedaway,andIcouldseethatshetookthisthing,thisexchangeoftrivialcaress,withaseriousnessnoothergirlIhadevermethadfeltorhadtheindependenceofmindtoshow.IsawinJuliefearofmanandsomethingthathintedatcravingforhim.Hernaturalaloofnessandcoolnesssuddenlyseemedratherpitiable,ameresocialequivalentofsomeneurosisaboutfrigidity.Ikissedherhand.Sheallowedit,andthen,withdrawingherhand,suddenlyturnedherbackonme."What’swrong?"Shespokeinawhisper.

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