Волхв

Chapter 42

           It’slike…sometimeswe’resobusyaftertake-offwedon’trealizehowfartheplane’sclimbedandyoulookoutandit’sashock…it’slikethat,yousuddenlyrealizehowfaryouarefromwhatyoureallyare.Oryouwere,orsomething.Idon’texplainitwell.""Yesyoudo.Verywell.""Youbegintofeelyoudon’tbelonganywhereanymore.Youknow,asifIdidn’thaveenoughproblemsthatwayalready.ImeanEngland’simpossible,itbecomesmorehoniwitquismellypantseveryday,it’sagraveyard.AndAustralia…Australia.God,howIhatemycountry.Themeanestugliestblindest…"shegaveup.Wewalkedonaway,thenshesaid,"It’sjustIhaven’trootsanywhereanymore,Idon’tbelonganywhere.They’reallplacesIflytoorfrom.Orover.IjusthavepeopleIlike.Orlove.They’retheonlyhomelandIhaveleft."Shethrewalookback,ashyone,asifshehadbeensavingupthistruthaboutherself,thisrootlessness,homelandlessness,whichsheknewwasalsoatruthaboutme."Atleastwe’vegotridofalotofuselessillusionsaswell.""Cleverus."ShefellsilentandIswallowedherreproach.Inspiteofhersuperficialindependence,herfundamentalneedwastocling.Allherlifewasanattempttodisproveit;andsoprovedit.Shewaslikeaseaanemonehadonlytobetouchedtoadheretowhattouchedher.Shestopped.Webothnoticeditatthesametime.Belowustoourright,thesoundofwater,alotofwater."I’dlovetobathemyfeet.

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