Волхв

Chapter 38

           "I’mallrightnow,but…youknow.Ican’tpossibly…""Youwenttoa…"Inodded.Theincredulitybecamecredulity."Youhadyourrevenge."Shecameandputherarmsroundme."OhNicko,Nicko."Isaidoverherhead,"I’mnotmeanttohaveoralorclosercontactforatleastanothermonth.Ididn’tknowwhattodo.Ioughtnevertohavewritten.Thiswasneverreallyon."Sheletgoofmeandwentandsatonthebed.IsawIhadgotmyselfintoanewcorner;shenowthoughtthatthissatisfactorilyexplainedourawkwardnesstillthen.Shegavemeakind,gentlelittlesmile."Tellmeallaboutit."Iwalkedroundandroundtheroom,tellingheraboutPatarescuandtheclinic,aboutthepoetry,evenabouttheventureatsuicide,abouteverythingexceptBourani.Afterawhileshelaybackonthebed,smoking,andIwasunexpectedlyfilledwithapleasureinduplicity,withthatpleasure,Iimagined,Conchisfeltwhenhewaswithme.IntheendIsatontheendofbed.Shelaystaringupattheceiling."CanItellyouaboutPetenow?""Ofcourse."Ihalflistened,playingmypart,andsuddenlybegantoenjoybeingwithheragain;notparticularlywithAlison,butbeinginthishotelbedroom,hearingthemurmuroftheeveningcrowdsbelow,thesoundofsirens,thesmellofthetiredAegean.Ifeltnoattractionandnotendernessforher;norealinterestinthestormybreak-upofherlongrelationshipwiththeboorofanAustralianpilot;simplythecomplex,ambiguoussadnessofthedarkeningroom.Thelighthaddrainedoutofthesky,itbecamerapiddusk.

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