Волхв

Chapter 36

           Anenormousandvertiginoussenseoftheinnumerabilityoftheuniverse;aninnumerabilityinwhichtransienceandunchangingnessseemedintegral,essentialanduncontradictory.Ifeltlikeagermthathadlanded,likethefirstpenicillinmicrobe,notonlyinaculturewhereitwastotallyathome,totallynourished;butinasituationinwhichitwasinfinitelysignificant.Aconditionofacutephysicalandintellectualpleasure,afloatingsuspension,abeingperfectlyadjustedandrelated;aquintessentialarrival.Anintercognition.Atthesametimeaparabola,afall,anejaculation;butthetransience,thepassage,hadbecomeanintegralpartoftheknowledgeoftheexperience.Thebecomingandthebeingwereone.IthinkIsawthestaragainforawhile,thestarasitsimplywas,hangingintheskyabove,butnowinallitsbeing-and-becoming.Itwaslikewalkingthroughadoor,goingallroundtheworld,andthenwalkingthroughthesamedoorbutadifferentdoor.Thendarkness.Iremembernothing.Thenlight.

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