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Chapter 34

           IfourfatherhadnotbeenaRepublicanbothEladioandIwouldbesoldiersnowwiththefascistsandifonewereasoldierwiththemthentherewouldbenoproblem.Onewouldobeyordersandonewouldliveordieandintheenditwouldbehoweveritwouldbe.Itwaseasiertoliveunderaregimethantofightit.

           Butthisirregularfightingwasathingofmuchresponsibility.Therewasmuchworryifyouwereonetoworry.EladiothinksmorethanIdo.Alsoheworries.IbelievetrulyinthecauseandIdonotworry.Butitisalifeofmuchresponsibility.

           Ithinkthatwearebornintoatimeofgreatdifficulty,hethought.Ithinkanyothertimewasprobablyeasier.Onesufferslittlebecauseallofushavebeenformedtoresistsuffering.Theywhosufferareunsuitedtothisclimate.Butitisatimeofdifficultdecisions.Thefascistsattackedandmadeourdecisionforus.Wefighttolive.ButIwouldliketohaveitsothatIcouldtieahandkerchieftothatbushbackthereandcomeinthedaylightandtaketheeggsandputthemunderahenandbeabletoseethechicksofthepartridgeinmyowncourtyard.Iwouldlikesuchsmallandregularthings.

           Butyouhavenohouseandnocourtyardinyourno-house,hethought.Youhavenofamilybutabrotherwhogoestobattletomorrowandyouownnothingbutthewindandthesunandanemptybelly.Thewindissmall,hethought,andthereisnosun.Youhavefourgrenadesinyourpocketbuttheyareonlygoodtothrowaway.Youhaveacarbineonyourbackbutitisonlygoodtogiveawaybullets

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