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Chapter 18

           Iwonderiftheywillgo?Orwhethertheywillstrengthen?IwonderwhattheRussianstandisonthewholebusiness?Gaylord’sistheplace,hethought.ThereismuchthatIneedtoknownowthatIcanlearnonlyatGaylord’s.

           AtonetimehehadthoughtGaylord’shadbeenbadforhim.Itwastheoppositeofthepuritanical,religiouscommunismofVelazquez63,theMadridpalacethathadbeenturnedintotheInternationalBrigadeheadquartersinthecapital.AtVelazquez63itwaslikebeingamemberofareligiousorderandGaylord’swasalongwayawayfromthefeelingyouhadattheheadquartersoftheFifthRegimentbeforeithadbeenbrokenupintothebrigadesofthenewarmy.

           Ateitherofthoseplacesyoufeltthatyouweretakingpartinacrusade.Thatwastheonlywordforitalthoughitwasawordthathadbeensowornandabusedthatitnolongergaveitstruemeaning.Youfelt,inspiteofallbureaucracyandinefficiencyandpartystrife,somethingthatwaslikethefeelingyouexpectedtohaveanddidnothavewhenyoumadeyourfirstcommunion.ItwasafeelingofconsecrationtoadutytowardalloftheoppressedoftheworldwhichwouldbeasdifficultandembarrassingtospeakaboutasreligiousexperienceandyetitwasauthenticasthefeelingyouhadwhenyouheardBach,orstoodinChartresCathedralortheCathedralatLeónandsawthelightcomingthroughthegreatwindows;orwhenyousawMantegnaandGrecoandBrueghelinthePrado.

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