Волхв

Chapter 78

           Yetitwouldhavebeenspoiltifwehaddeclaredit,ifwehadstoppedpretendingthatitdidnotexist;andinastrangewaythispretendingseemedanintegralpartoftheaffection.Notdeclaringwelikedeachothershowedasortofmutualdelicacythatprovedwedid.PerhapsitwasKempwhomademefeelhappierduringthosetendays;perhapsitwasanaftermathofJojo,leastangelicofangels,butsentbyhazardfromabetterworldintomine;perhapsitwassimplyafeelingthatIcouldwaitlongerthanIhadtillthenimagined;whateveritwas,somethinginmechanged.Iwasstillthebutt,yetinanothersense;Conchis’struths,especiallythetruthhehadembodiedinLily,maturedinme.SlowlyIwaslearningtosmile,andinthespecialsensethatConchisintended.Thoughonecanaccept,andstillnotforgive;andonecandecide,andstillnotenactthedecision.Wewalkednorth,acrosstheEustonRoadandalongtheOuterCircleintoRegent’sPark.KempworeblackslacksandafilthyoldcardiganandanextinguishedWoodbine,thelastasasortofwarningtothefreshairthatitgotthroughtoherlungsonlyonaverytemporarysufferance.Theparkwasfullofgreendistances;ofcountlessscatteredgroupsofpeople,lovers,families,solitarieswithdogs,thecolorssoftenedbytheimperceptiblemistofautumn,assimpleandpleasinginitswayasaBoudinbeachscape.Westrolled,watchedtheduckswithaffection,thehockeyplayerswithcontempt."Nickboy,"saidKemp,"Ineedacupofthebloodynaticnalbeverage.

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