Волхв

Chapter 69

           Iwalkedbacktothepub,andlaterIwenttoanItalianrestaurantAlisonandmyselfhadusedtogoto.Itwasstillthesame,popularwiththepooreracademicandartisticpopulationofBloomsbury:researchgraduates,out-of-workactors,publishers’staff,mostlyyoung,andmyownkind.Theclientelehadnotchanged,butIhad.Ilistenedtothechatteraroundme;andwasoffput,andthenalienated,byitsinsularity,itssuddenlyseeninnocence.Ilookedround,totrytofindsomeoneImighthypotheticallywanttoknowbetter,becomefriendlywith;andtherewasnoone.ItwastheunneededconfirmationofmylossofEnglishness;anditoccurredtomethatImustbefeelingasAlisonhadsooftenfelt:amixture,beforetheEnglish,ofirritationandbafflement,ofhavingthissamelanguage,samepast,somanysamethings,andyetnotbelongingtothemanymore.Beingworsethanrootless…speciesless.IwentandhadonemorelookatthefiatinRussellSquare,buttherewasnolightonthethirdfloor.SoIreturnedtothehotel,defeated.Anold,oldman.ThenextmorningIwentroundtotheestateagentswholookedafterthehouse.Theyhadashabbystringofgreen-paintedroomsaboveashopinSouthamptonRow.IrecognizedtheadenoidalclerkwhocametothecountertolookaftermeastheoneIhaddealtwiththepreviousyear;herememberedme,andIsoonextractedfromhimwhatlittleinformationhehadtogive.ThefiathadbeenassignedtoAlisonatthebeginningofJulytendaysorafortnightafterParnassus.

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